We’re Emergency Physicians, with the privilege of helping anyone, anytime. But some of our toughest cases arrive off-shift, via that notorious text bubble: “Hey! Quick medical question…” Our presentation is a fast, funny, and relatable tour of the most absurd, awkward, and hilarious messages we’ve received from friends and family who see us as their personal concierge physicians.
Part 1: We’ll begin our IGNITE talk by role-playing the greatest hits of real “Ask-A-Doc” texts we have received: tool-related oopsies, baby mystery meltdowns and toddler head bonks, grainy midnight rash photos, awkward no-context images, and the life threatening abnormal mean corpuscular hemoglobin concentration. While we did not consent to becoming our friends' personal physicians, we have received consent to share these de-identified texts.
Part 2: We’ll then share a simple framework for responding to these messages that preserves relationships, sets boundaries, and keeps our friends and families safe. We’ll model a template response that acknowledges concern, expresses our limits, and directs people to timely appropriate care outside of the DMs. We will then express why this matters: it preserves our relationships, protects us medico-legally, and most importantly protects our sanity.
Our goals are to:
Provide comedic relief and cathartic laughter
Show how a friendly question can become risky tele-advice
Show a concise, repeatable script to respond to said messages
Normalize boundaries off-shift without ruining friendships
